God is beautiful through and through, and entirely good! This is the astounding story of how I was introduced to the beautiful emotions of Jesus that reveal the nature of God. And how I tested the spirit according to Scripture (I John 4:1-3). And how it changed my life forever.
And on my journey, I have learned that not only is God beautiful, but that there is no need to avoid or eviscerate the Scriptures as we follow the beautiful Jesus Christ. And that, through the supernatural fruit of the Holy Spirit, God desires to bring His beautiful character and emotions into all who believe in Jesus the Christ.
I invite you to join me as I explore the beautiful ways of our beautiful God in the Scriptures, so you can make them your own.
The Scripture I misquoted in this video,
“…He that hath seen me hath seen the Father…” (John 14:9).
Hi. My name is Gail Ruth. And I am delighted to tell you the miraculous story of how I learned that God is entirely, completely, profoundly, beautiful. And over time, I want to share how, in light of that beauty, I’ve learned to make sense of the parts of scripture that make it seem as if God is harsh––without believing God is harsh or doing harm to us.
A bit of background about me. When I was four years old I invited Jesus into my heart. God was real to me. The world I lived in was frightening and troubled, but I could feel that safe and wonderful Presence of God. But as I grew, I was pretty much wrecked by life. And all those early memories of God faded away and were lost to me.
In my 20’s and 30’s I had some supernatural experiences that brought back to me the memories of the wonderful God I’d known as a small child, and added new encounters to them. But I tried to fit these these experiences into the harsh “Truths” that I had learned about God and about the ways of God. And that didn’t work too well.
20 years ago this year, in my 40’s — it was just after my husband had driven off for for a few days for a work assignment, when all of a sudden the Presence of a spiritual being filled the room. I couldn’t see it, but I could feel it. And I didn’t know who or what it was. But it began pouring beautiful emotions through me.
What I felt was a gentle, unbelievable kindness, and a warm regard. It all felt so good, peaceful and loving. And it was all colored with a lightness of heart, a cheerfulness. There was a sense of fun, as if it were an invitation to come play in a very safe place with a wonderful person. And it just kept pouring and pouring through me.
You might have thought that I would have melted into this Presence. But I didn’t. I resisted it. I KNEW this could not be God. Because I KNEW God was not this nice. The thing was –– this Being wasn’t telling me to get my act together. There was no disapproval. There was none of the finger-pointing I had come to expect from God.
So, like any sensible Christian I tried to cast this thing out of my home in the Name of Jesus. It didn’t leave. I kept resisting. I kept casting. But none of this fazed this Being. The beautiful emotions didn’t skip a beat. Nothing quenched them. There was no offense taken. The beauty just went on and on pouring through me.
Day 3 came. My husband called. I told him what had been going on and said. “This thing is sooo beautiful. But I know it’s trying to trick me so I’ll let down my guard and let it in. But I’ve tried to cast it out and it won’t leave.”
He reminded me that I had been praying for a closer relationship with God. And he suggested I test the spirit. Why didn’t I think of that?
So when I got off the phone, I did. And in response, this Being rose up huge like over the earth, while still rooted in my living room, and proclaimed the good news of Jesus Christ and His death and resurrection. And then this being shrunk back down into my living room and invited me to take communion with Him to remember the suffering and death of Jesus that was for me. So I got some bread and grape juice and took communion in the presence of this Being. And worshipped Jesus.
I learned — this was Jesus being manifested to me through the Holy Spirit. It went on for 6 full weeks, and His manifest Presence never left — and there was not one moment of harshness. No matter what. No matter what was happening in my life. Because I’d had to go on with my life with all its ups and downs and stresses and challenges. 9/11 happened during this time. My emotions were my normal emotions, and they were running side by side with these God emotions, never intermingling. And Jesus’ emotions never once shifted their tone.
This beauty I was feeling was not just about Jesus, but about all of God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. For it was the Holy Spirit who was ministering the Presence and beauty of Jesus to me, and it is Jesus who has said, “…he that hath seen me hath seen the Father…” (from John 14:9).
Six weeks later, on the same day of the week that it had come, all this simply faded away and ended. And from there I had to figure out how to go forward with my life. Because this had ruined me for any life I’d known.
And so began this journey that I’ve been on ever since – of learning how to see everything through the filter of this beautiful God. Of becoming conformed to the image of Jesus Christ, even to His emotional life. And God has proved faithful.
For the first two years I had no language for it. All I could do was inanely babble, “He’s so beautiful.” And I looked at all I had thought I understood about God and following Jesus, and realized that it was all just cognitive dry bones. Now I desperately wanted what was REAL and alive. Ever since, I’ve been searching for the living version of those cognitive dry bones and I’ve been finding it. One tiny bite-size piece at a time, and sowing it deep into my life and my heart.
Now all those pieces have come together. And I have learned that there is no need to avoid or eviscerate the Scriptures to follow this beautiful God. I invite you to join me each week as I explore the beautiful ways of our beautiful God in the Scriptures, so you can make them your own. I bless you.